Sitting down on the top floor. I hear a small scream.
Looking out the window she almost has no reaction, but I knew something was wrong. I stand next to her and see that on the corner of Shattuck, there's a bus. A bus with legs under it.
I begin to immediately ask too many questions. Why do these things happen? What if that were me? What if that were her? What if that was just anyone else? Anger floods into my system every single time. There's never a reason. There's never an explanation. How fucked up is that, right?
The tsunami that hit Japan blew my mind away. According to my sources approximately 300 people died. That's not a lot, but everyone matters. Earthquake in Chile came around killing over 500 people. My father is convinced the world is going to end with natural disasters because the world will find ways to clean itself of what is harming it. I just think bad shit happens. Really horrible, unexplainable shit. And just to be clear: when I say unexplainable, I mean reasons, and rationalizations for why these things happen.
Onto other things..
My company's new office is getting off it's feet. Little by little. Business in America is possible to pursue, but be careful not to die of exhaustion before you finally reach that goal you essentially kill yourself to reach by the end of the week, the month, or the year.
College is the lesser evil but the wait to bring some bread home in exchange for the blood sweat and glory is longer. A degree doesn't reach your hands until you almost think it wont.
I think that I'm thankful. A bit scared, but thankful that I can wake up and be alive. Today, and hopefully tomorrow. I've learned to be thankful for plenty of things in life. Taken time to work on my humility, or entitlement. But this is way beyond me. This is what we big powerful humans don't have control over in our own worlds.
Society now seems overly complicated, along with politics, and fear. Wasted time and money on discrimination, lack of education, power hunger.. Fear of taking chances, making changes, being ourselves and following dreams... Life needs to be put into perspective for people everywhere. You will miss every chance you fear to take. I'm not going to say "life can end in a second" or "you don't know what you have till it's gone." But what I will say is that if the next fucked up natural disaster or tragedy on the news is the one that hits you, wouldn't you want to have done something? It doesn't have to be anything meaningful, or dramatic. Life is meant to be lived. Learn what you can and pass that shit on. Each time a new generation is born, the last has an obligation to allow them to evolve and advance. Go ahead and tell me I'm wrong. It doesn't matter if in the end our society doesn't mean a damn thing in the world. This is now, deal with it.
In all, the world isn't going stop to make sure we're alright. But if you're the one watching the next fucked up thing happening on the tube with your mouth wide open, turn that shit off and go outside. Get out there. Because what is this? It's big. It isn't you, or me, or whatever is in between. It's life. That's what this is.
-J
