Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Today.. (1/2)

This is no newsflash.

It's important to think about the future, but there are proactive ways to go about it. Seeing direction, goals, and vision. Visionary territory here.

If the fall of capitalism happens, is that supposed to be the light at the end of the tunnel I'm supposed to be in?

What the fuck am I supposed to be waiting for? What the fuck am I waiting for?

This was the headline of one of @uspolitical's recent tweets: "Turning Our Backs on Capitalism is Going to Cost US"
Now before I elaborate on my idea of tolerance, we're going to knock out capitalism first. Just because it's not worthy to be so close to my closing idea(s).

Just like we need to sit down and forget about the fucking oil for just one second.. I'm going to ask you to put aside how moving away from capitalism could hurt us, or whatever the hell that's supposed to mean. During a debate in one of my lectures, the class was divided in two sides of the room. One side was to argue for socialism/communism. Of course the other side was pro-capitalism. For those of you who don't know, I'm a democratic socialist. I say this and also ask you to put aside that it sounds contradicting or something to some of you. I assure you, this is incorrect.

Anyways, we were supposed to have an opening statement to begin. Blank stares was what put us on pause for a moment. I thought about how ridiculous it was no one had a billion things to say. This is a discussion that could go in almost too many different directions; why would you not want to have a say in where it could possibly begin? So I say these words: "Capitalism works." Even after saying just two simple words, the class had to do their best to render them before they disappeared into thin air.

It works, sure. Industrialization is what's supposed to happen to take a couple of steps forward. Technological advancements, a few extra jobs, build up some shit. You know, part of stacking the bricks that make up this country. But this isn't supposed to be a long term gig. I can't imagine this lasting much longer. I'm not a pure and serious Marxist. I look at results. Results don't lie. Look at where capitalism has gone. It's not just an economy, its a mentality. It's not a market, it's boiling blood in the veins of every money hungry American. It can be on any coast or city. From the red light district to Thousand Oaks. The hunger burns everywhere. I don't think that this society can handle much more. Is the fall of this system going to be my green light? Is this where I get the upper hand and start having to write more letters and less emails because the lines will get fuzzy? I have the itch. Something is changing. Maybe my revolution is starting soon. It's not allergies.

I hope to be a big part in opening the YDSA Berkeley Chapter. This could be it. Time will tell us everything we need to know.

You can only wait for what you don't have the power to change. I mean, what else am I supposed to do? It isn't idle time. It's just time.


..Tomorrow (2/2)

I was sitting on the train today. Or I guess I should be saying tonight. But that's besides the point. As I sat there, I was watching lights that seemed to move away from the car windows, as if we were the ones standing still.

I thought about the way that this country deals with anything that doesn't fit into a box. Race, religions, and whatever else makes you different. This country hasn't changed very much from day one. We've just built up some tolerance. I mean, think about it. The tolerance to sit next to someone who looks different than you in public, or in private is fine. Maybe knowing that there's a legal consequence for doing something on the basis of some serious fucked up discrimination says something. That does not change the majority's mentalities. That's not changing America, or the entire world for that matter.

But then again, I compare this country to others and realize that the tolerance we have here, the way things are implemented, don't seem so bad. So is tolerance the most we can ask, or expect from others? Should it be this way? How is that supposed to change?

According to the dictionary on my dashboard, the word tolerance has its roots in late Middle English; denoting the action of bearing hardship, or the ability to bear pain and hardship. It goes even deeper into Old French from Latin root tolerat- meaning 'endured.' But today tolerance is understood to be the ability or willingness to take something, such as behaviors or opinions that one does not necessarily agree with. This could be from corruption to religion. (Depending on your views, that could be the same thing..)

What do we edure? Is it that dramatic of an otherwise chosen act to accept others? Or is this suggesting that no one is ever truly accepted, merely tolerated. I know tolerance can't be all we want, but is it all we need? I would say so. Tolerance is all we need to move forward, to have some kind of crutch for a minority to rest on. I hope that it's a bridge from crude discrimination to ultimate equality. I'm not asking for utopia, I'm allowing myself to believe there's something better than this. Without faith, the revolution dies in seconds.

This isn't a news update or commentary. It's a reality check to possibilities. Outcomes come later. How can you, or I change the world? How would we do it tomorrow? That's the meat in this sandwich.

More soon.

Thursday, March 24, 2011


Yesterday, Syrian pork shot at least 15 people. This happened in a Daraa neighborhood sheltering anti-government protesters.

In the early morning protesters were in the streets, standing for reforms and political freedoms according to witnesses. At least six people were killed. 

Including casualties, the death number is 22. What the hell is happening?

Just last week journalists documenting protests, taking pictures of their surroundings were arrested, beaten, and their materials were confiscated by Palestinian security and pigs.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again, the day my freedom of speech gets infringed, all hell will break loose. No one--and I mean no one--is going to silence me. Who has the right to silence any of my comrades?

Written in an article of FAIR, by Seth Ackerman:

"American journalists probably feel more pressure about their coverage of Israel and Palestine than any other subject. That is true even of Extra!; despite having a readership that is overwhelmingly sympathetic to our progressive critique of the media, our Middle East coverage invariably elicits angry letters and complaints, sometimes resulting in canceled subscriptions...
...To a notable degree, anti-Palestinian media criticism consists of elliptical reasoning and baffling non-sequiturs, not to mention clumsiness with facts. The tone of much of the criticism is illustrated by a Jerusalem Post letter to the editor (12/19/00) that complained that CNN correspondents 'constantly refer to innocuous 'stone-throwing' by Palestinian kids, instead of calling them what they really are: rocks.' "

We all live through screens.
TV screens, door screens, sunglasses, sunscreen, computers, phones..

I don't know what we're being screened from, or what it is that's happening, but I'm going to keep talking. No one will silence us. Journalists are not safe anywhere, but in our heads. The power is in the pen. It's in the ink. It's on the paper. Keep writing.

You're writing for a reason.


Monday, March 21, 2011

Updates: Republicans, Libya, Utah & The Gays.

Republicans are teaming up to criticize Pres. Obama for "failing to lay out a clear plan" on Libya and maybe spending too much money, and time during America's money deficit. Of course they support Iraq.

Hey Republicans, in case you didn't notice: Bush was the one who got us here in the first place.

Beyond that, let's get back to what's really important. Will the Libyan Rebels see victory? I sure hope they do. Too many have died, and are getting up, through exhaustion, picking up their weapons, and continuing a battle I hope soon to be called revolution.

Last night, there were explosions following the sounds of fighter jets above Tripoli. Libyan authorities said a building in Gaddafi's compound was hit. Hopefully he's getting the message. He challenged us with a long drawn out war, but his military is no real match.

When the French bombed Gaddafi's shit, with the US and Great Britain following, the rebels are ready to keep fighting. After such an owning moment, the rebels are not ready to give up. Residents feel a small wave of safety, and morale is improving.

In other news, Utah has rejected another Arizona-look-a-like law! What the fuck? Times are a changin'. Republicans are hating on brute force and Utah isn't as messed up as we thought. Who knew?

Also, In LGBT news, we have good news. According to the Center for American Progress,  63% of white Catholics now support marriage equality, up from just 40% seven years ago. White Protestants are at 57%. Things are changing. And how many people said that nothing would.

It's not just about the revolution guys, it's about the hope, and the belief that you can make it happen. We need to make it all happen. Building a big community of public support is the only way things happen. WE ARE THE MAJORITY.

May the revolution stay alive.


Sunday, March 20, 2011

Libya Update:

Apparently the UN's Security Council resolution on Thursday to take "all necessary measures" to protect the Libyan people is a call to war by the Christian world thirsty for oil.

On television, Gaddafi's words:

"We are ready for a long war. You are not prepared for a long war in Libya. We are prepared. This is a very happy moment we are living,"  Also stating "We will not leave our land and we will liberate it."

In an adding, Gaddafi said the leaders of the West would “fall like Hitler … Mussolini.”

His words were heard while his face was not shown.

A statement issued by David Cameron's office on the ceasefire:
Opinion "Everyone will recall that in recent days Colonel Gaddafi declared a ceasefire which was promptly violated.
We said then we would judge him on his actions not his words - and we will do so again.
His obligations are very clearly set out by the U.N. Security Council Resolution. Our assessment is that he is in breach of these obligations so we will continue to enforce the resolution."

May the rebels see victory, may the globe see peace.
More Updates to come. 

Dictator = Rebellion.

Yesterday the US, UK & France finally steppped in as Libya's own forces were finishing off the last of the rebels. Then came Operation Odyssey Dawn.

Let's just discuss our opponent really quickly:
Colonel Muammar Gaddafi is the longest serving of any non-royal national leader, and one of the longest serving rulers in history. Between the 70s and 80s he was publicly declared having assassinated opposing leaders, acts of state-sponsored terrorism, and well, a lot of other shit. He's a nationalist socialist. Giving socialists a bad name. Making it look like the whole point is to take over the world or something. Anyways, he's an oppressive dictator, and when there's oppression, I hope there is revolt.
Four of the Colonel's tanks were in the aim of the first shots by the French. The Brits sent water back up, and the US fired missile after missile. Ok, whether the intention of OOD may not seem like it, the original plan was to stop Quaddafi's forces from going any further by rushing into Benghazi to create a no fly zone. More European countries are expected to joining in and to contribute while Egypt is equipping the rebels. The Libyan regime is using force to gain order and dominance. The question on this side of the globe is: are we supposed to be stepping in? Forget about the fucking oil for five seconds.

I don't know. No one knows, but Obama had a choice to make. If people on the other side of the world didn't have voices,  I'd speak. But then again, I'm a believer in the armed struggle. Without conflict, there is not change. And without change, there is no hope.

What the hell are pacifists looking for? This is what they are saying:
"Hey Libyans, liberal Americans want you to hug your way to democracy. Just go up to Gaddafi and hug him. Love is all you need, baby."

Well I'll tell you this: Jews who participated in the Warsaw Ghetto uprising, including those who went on what they thought were suicide missions, had a higher rate of survival than those who gave up. Want to tell them all they need is love?
What I don't understand is that Obama gets to be the black guy, with the US in the shittiest shape, and when he does something even remotely like the last guy: the GOP turns their backs as if they were texting in class planning the whole thing. Jesus.

I'm not saying it's right or wrong. I'm saying that if non-violence doesn't work, what the hell else would you like to do? Put a peace sign sticker on your forehead and wait for a missile? No thank you.

Keep Libya in your minds today, and may this come to an end soon. Updates to come.


Saturday, March 19, 2011

Female President: What Do We Have To Lose?

Brazil definitely proves it. Her Name is Dilma Rousseff, the country's first. She's pretty much a fucking boss compared to 99.9% of this country's elected officials.
With an educational backround in economics, and not completely greedy, I applaud her.

During her presidency, Rousseff survived through $30 billion in budget cuts. She's more than competent. At the start of her term, manufacturers in Brazil had some serious setbacks as a result of cheap imports from the Chinese. She shot back with anti-dumping tactics and got her hands dirty with tariff increases. Look at her GO!

This month Rousseff is proposing new policies that could seriously impact the world of economics, especially for her country. Wow, this just gets better and better.

But my personal favorite part of this whole thing,  is that she joined some leftist radical resistance group in the 1960s. She was behind bars for three years. Her military captors weren't very nice, either.

She was also born to a middle class family. Take a look at where our officials come from..

Costa Rica follows in these footsteps by electing their fist female president last month. I swear if Latin America passes America up, the extremist right-wing textbook-changers in Texas will cry, Bush will mumble, Palin will make a new reality show,  Arizona will collapse, and we could lose the immigrants that in many ways, keep our economy going.

So why not a female president? What do we have to lose?



Friday, March 18, 2011

SB1070 Upgrade Dies, Anti-Gay Lives

I can’t get the picture out of my mind of Republicans walking out of big, stained wooden doors like puppies with tails in between their legs.

It was just yesterday I said, "It isn't even about being on a side. These people need to open up their eyes because they are tearing this country apart." It is no surprise, if you take a second to evaluate. Arizona State Sen. Pearce was sitting in the corner of the classroom today. His little minions, at such a perfect time, got out of their trance-like state and looked at what they were doing to America. They rejected the 1070 package that would have taken the Arizona law to places it had never been before.
I'm glad that these officials are realizing that although they can ignore the common man, if we scare away tourists, freak the rich people out, and lose money, then....

What a surprise.

On another note: According to a poll put out by The Washington Post and NBC, over half of this country supports marriage. People are getting sick of hearing about this. But while the polls look strong, I can read through a handful of threads like these:

"gays have equal rights. they have the right to be normal but they reject that right. what gays want is superior rights, they want special treatment. the only thing gays need is a program to convert them back to normal humans."

Written on www.slantright.com referring to the possiblilities of "the radical homosexuals" taking over:
"Homosexual advocacy in schools. Your children or grandchildren will be taught homosexuality is moral, natural and good. High school children will learn perverted sex acts as part of "safe sex" education."

"The Obama administration rescinded most of a federal regulation Friday designed to protect health workers who refuse to provide care they find objectionable on personal or religious grounds, putting our nation's medical personnel at risk of catching gay. Why does Obama hate America so much?"

All of these quotes were posted today: March 18th, 2011. The hate is still alive, and we must fight with everything we can to leave it behind, and be who we were meant to be when the 14th Amendment came out of hiding and onto paper.
For fuck's sake, we're AMERICA. Let's remember that. Keep writing letters, keep making phone calls, knock on doors, and stopping people in the street. We've gotten thus far, we will finish.
Don't give up. That doesn't go for gay America. When a minority becomes the majority, things change. Keep reading.


Thursday, March 17, 2011

Kansas' Latest Fool

Virgil Peck is a legislator in Kansas. Being a Republican, he is making his team look quite douchey.
During a debate on the best ways to control hundreds of feral swine in his state, Peck suggested illegal immigrants in this country should be shot like animals. According to The Wichita Eagle, he said:

"Looks like to me, if shooting these immigrating feral hogs works, maybe we have found a (solution) to our illegal immigration problem."
But hey, at least he isn't trying to take Thomas Jefferson out of history.
And I'm sure Peck was unhappy when the state's House Judiciary Committee voted against the look alike Arizona bill. There you go, Peck.

Besides Peck, what about that one UCLA student who posted a racist rant about Asians? Would you freaking believe this girl is from Northern California? It is a reality people:

Racism isn't only an issue, but a mentality that is fed from birth. It hasn't gone away.
Arizona laws popping up everywhere are not making sense.
Keep your guards up, like I've said before, the new majority is prepared to get their own if lawmakers decide to take it.


Wednesday, March 16, 2011

UPDATE: Far-Right Extremists in TX

For those still unaware: The Board approved the curriculum change conservative Republicans have been asking for. Although this is old news, last month confirmed that Texas is nowhere near the U.S. History standards. After doing research, this group of conservatives was quite crafty in achieving their goals. We aren't dreaming, and it just got real.
Not only did Texas end up with irrational far-right officials in charge, they also somehow ended up with the power to affect the entire country. There was one democrat who made the majority by a hair and allowed the bill to pass. There are questions there.

The head of the conservative faction claimed the editing to history is going to add a needed balance due to the fact history was already a little bit too..leftist.

Remember learning about our Declaration?
Well, Thomas Jefferson was removed from history. He was essentially replaced by President Reagan.

The far right has too many funds to believe the truth and enough funds to change it. While Jefferson disappeared into thin air, so did Latinos. 200 years of history completely distorted.
Let's not forget that Texas isn't just screwing itself, it's screwing America. Textbook publishers all over the country will base their books on many of the new revisions, to be read by kids everywhere. Texas is the the main source of American textbooks. Children will learn and be tested on right-wing fake history.
Who would be happy waking up to uneducated leaders in 2050?
If this is news to you, spread it.

For more info: http://www.washingtonmonthly.com


Tuesday, March 15, 2011

You Have Freedom Of Speech, BUT..

The First Amendment isn’t discussed nearly as much as it could be.
Some people might not even be able to fully define or understand it.
Freedom of speech is exactly that: freedom of speech. This country better damn well protect my freedom of speech.  The day I’m legally silenced will be a day to remember in history. I’m free, shouldn't everyone else be free too?

In America you’re legally protected to express your ideas no matter how twisted or wrong they are to someone else. Regardless of the views expressed, or the individual who chooses to hold them, they are legally protected. Instead of failed attempts to silence these views, why not express yourself in bigger, bolder font than the ignorant border-line crazy extremist guy next door?

Look at the protesters who’ve been making appearances at the funerals of American soldiers.  They believe the reason our soldiers are dying is because their God is punishing this country.  This indeed has become a controversial issue everywhere, and the public isn’t happy. Those who feel the soldiers are to be honored, and that the protestors are (clearly) twisted religious extremists skipped the protestors and went straight to aiming complaints and outrage at the Supreme Court. Protecting freedom of speech isn’t right or wrong: it is staying pure in upholding the First Amendment in the U.S. Constitution. You live in this country, go read it.

The lights are on, but nobody is home. If you think about it, these soldiers died in the name of our political system. The outrage from the Supreme Court ruling is based on a twisted interpretation of the core foundation of the American political system. Our system is rooted in the Declaration of Independence. Remember the Bill of Rights? Go check out the nearest dictatorship country and then get back to me.

Journalism is where some roots of freedom of speech lie. What this country reads in the papers and such probably affects the mentalities, hopes and fears of our citizens. Journalists everywhere have the responsibility to actively relay information: it should be fact, but based on publication, can and is expressed from a certain political or social perspective. Journalism shouldn’t be discredited or misrepresented because some publications and their writers stand up for the rights of those with less controversial issues rather than the rights of everyone. Writers should always keep in mind what the First Amendment allows them to do every single day. With that freedom does come responsibility to your readers; to your country.

Freedom of speech is not just a protective measure. It is an opportunity. Every second of the day someone can write, say, or do something that could change the world. Freedom of speech is saying what you need to say when and how you need to. No one has to listen. But I believe that they WILL if you can find a way to be louder than the rest. Silent America needs to rise up. Abrasive America needs to get educated. And of course Outspoken America needs to have its revolutionaries writing in bold on billboards everywhere. Besides, it is the First Amendment for a reason.

If you choose not to speak, don’t expect others to speak for you. Don’t give up your right.
Get up and say something with some substance, people.


Monday, March 14, 2011

Simple Equation, So Get With It!

I'd like to start this entry with these simple words:

I do not support gay marriage, gay rights, or really very much anything with the given prefix gay-.
I do not gay grocery shop on Saturdays, I do not gay park my car every morning, and I sure as hell don't gay ride BART.
I support rights, marriage, and of course the pursuit of happiness. The gay community isn't a whole other separate species. People = People. I don't know why this is such a complicated issue for those silly right-wing officials..

Two Dem. legislators decided to introduce a bill ensuring America's LGBT community coverage by COBRA insurance benefits company if a same-sex counterpart also get's hired.

Last week NY's State Rep, A. Weiner presented the House with the Equal Access to COBRA Act. While Weiner pursuaded the House, Senator Boxer gave a presentation to the Senate. Can you say double-team, double-whammy? Boxer announced that she believes that every family in America deserves to have equal opportunity and access to health insurance coverage.

Damn right they do. Damn right we do.  This is an issue of basic equality. Insurance availability on the basis of sexual orientation is the same as not offering tax return services for families with one car. What difference could that insignificant detail possible make? In '95 Pres. Reagan signed the original COBRA (Consolidates Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Act) modeling a coverage plan allowing workers to hold onto medical insurance after being out of work. The act did not say "Oh, but if you're gay we'll have to get back to you." EQUAL PROTECTION UNDER THE LAW, PEOPLE.

The Equal Access to COBRA Act will secure health coverage for domestic partners and immediate family if their partner were to get laid off.

HRC's Joe Solmonese was immediately on board upon the birth of this recent legislation. Solmonese agrees that "safety-net coverage" like COBRA is definitely vital to American families in this time of economic and social struggle. LGBT people.. or I mean...Americans should all have equal opportunity and access to these fundamental plans of medical insurance benefits. Even more so for loved ones during a time the United States is so vulnerable. The new legislature will impact those who work for companies required to offer benefits.

Simple, simple services that we, as American citizens, have the right to get our hands on. I speak from every community of sexual orientation, identities, and so on. It doesn't matter what your race, or ethnicity is. In fact, it shouldn't matter whether you're in a wheelchair or a 65-year-old woman. It also shouldn't matter who you sleep next to at night. I think that if being gay is some kind of new handicap or illness, I'll just have to make a call tomorrow then..

"Hi, I can't come in today. Still gay. Whenever I get better I'll be sure to give you a call.."

May this be another step forward not just for the LGBT community. This is another step for the entire country itself. Equality is a special word: a symbolic expression of the fact that two quantities are equal; an equation. It doesn't mean that the gay community gets granted a few convenient originally straight rights. It doesn't mean that the LGBT community is finally allowed to get married "like everyone else." No, it means that we are taking steps toward making sure both sides of the equation are equal:

                         ONE PERSON = ONE PERSON

Can you tell which one is gay? It shouldn't matter. 1 = 1, always. It doesn't matter who wrote it down.

Until the next injustice..


Sunday, March 13, 2011

Arizona Epidemic Spreads, Movements Begin

First of all, let me ask those of you out there who know me:
Do I look like an illegal immigrant to you?

Last week Oklahoma's House passed a bill nearly identical Arizona's immigration law passed last year. This new, but all too familiar bill will give local pork (specifically the extra greasy ones having completed some federal training program) the power to inquire any given person's immigration status. Representative Faught, sitting up high on a House/Senate committee, claims the bill is part of a greater effort to put some serious "focus on public safety." Last week the same bill was introduced to Pennsylvania as well. This wave of right-wing officials working to follow in Arizona's footsteps is hitting Minnesota, Maryland, North Carolina, Nebraska, Idaho and of course, who'd of guessed: Texas.
South Carolina's rep is not far behind, of course another Republican. Sponsoring a bill  allowing his local pigs to verify any given person's legal status and the power to authorize warrantless arrests of citizens merely suspected of being illegal residents and workers.

So I'll ask you again: Do I look like an illegal immigrant to you? Does your neighbor? How about Obama for hells sake? Let me remind the world out there that this union was built upon a foundation of immigrants coming together to create a free country. The fourteenth amendment seems to have disappeared into thin air: equal protection under the law. The gaps in the levels of protection and prevention throughout various communities is quite evident.

I read through SB1070 during the climax of the whole situation. I was knocking on doors, stopping you on the street, calling you and whatever else I could do. This was just days before we would get the news that the bill beat us, but to make us feel better, some parts were not implemented. What happened in Arizona should have stayed in Arizona. Where are the progressives, or the liberals? I mean, maybe a democrat or two? We are taking racial profiling in the ass pretty hard right now. What's next? If you look like a drug dealer you can be stopped on the street and asked to empty your pockets without reasonable cause? The cops wouldn't be in white America looking for these people, I can tell you that much. Mentalities will move to two opposite sides of the extremist spectrum: right-wing extremists on one side, and the far left on the other.

We are becoming a land of less opportunity. We are closing our doors and locking our windows. Not that this was not predicted prior to these events, but in exactly what direction are we supposed to be going with this?

In my opinion, it's the extra strength and ambition it takes as a person of color in this country to make it. That extra hard work and determination results in widespread humility throughout the non-white community, and sometimes the complete opposite in the other.

I'm not here to bash on the whites, I have very many in my life that are very dear to me. I also know plenty of white Americans who are able to look beyond race. But when this crap is written into law, what are we supposed to do? Sit by and allow ourselves to be subject to such an ethically fucked up system? There's going to have to be a revolt sometime soon if this ends up being the case from sea to shining sea. How long is present day America's majority expected to pretend they are still the minority? I suspect we wont be going down without a fight. These look-a-like bills are not just promoting ignorance, but reestablishing stereotypes that should have been eliminated decades ago. I love this country, but we are taking steps backwards. Big, giant steps from the looks of it.

I don't know who else out there will agree, but we aren't going to take it. Hold your shiny pens in your voting sessions, tally up your counts, and pass all the far-right, racial profiling bills you can come up with in those shiny power-hungry heads.

America's majority will take a stand when the time comes. The beginnings of a new movement are in the making. Shit will get real when the majority takes their freedoms into their own hands. Power in numbers. While you waste money to legalize chasing around America's other-than-white population demanding proof of legal immigration, we will be one step ahead of you. We have to be.


Saturday, March 12, 2011

What is this?

Sitting down on the top floor. I hear a small scream.
Looking out the window she almost has no reaction, but I knew something was wrong. I stand next to her and see that on the corner of Shattuck, there's a bus. A bus with legs under it.

I begin to immediately ask too many questions. Why do these things happen? What if that were me? What if that were her? What if that was just anyone else? Anger floods into my system every single time. There's never a reason. There's never an explanation. How fucked up is that, right?

The tsunami that hit Japan blew my mind away. According to my sources approximately 300 people died. That's not a lot, but everyone matters. Earthquake in Chile came around killing over 500 people. My father is convinced the world is going to end with natural disasters because the world will find ways to clean itself of what is harming it. I just think bad shit happens. Really horrible, unexplainable shit. And just to be clear: when I say unexplainable, I mean reasons, and rationalizations for why these things happen.

Onto other things..
My company's new office is getting off it's feet. Little by little. Business in America is possible to pursue, but be careful not to die of exhaustion before you finally reach that goal you essentially kill yourself to reach by the end of the week, the month, or the year.
College is the lesser evil but the wait to bring some bread home in exchange for the blood sweat and glory is longer. A degree doesn't reach your hands until you almost think it wont.

I think that I'm thankful. A bit scared, but thankful that I can wake up and be alive. Today, and hopefully tomorrow. I've learned to be thankful for plenty of things in life. Taken time to work on my humility, or entitlement. But this is way beyond me. This is what we big powerful humans don't have control over in our own worlds.

Society now seems overly complicated, along with politics, and fear. Wasted time and money on discrimination, lack of education, power hunger.. Fear of taking chances, making changes, being ourselves and following dreams... Life needs to be put into perspective for people everywhere. You will miss every chance you fear to take. I'm not going to say "life can end in a second" or "you don't know what you have till it's gone." But what I will say is that if the next fucked up natural disaster or tragedy on the news is the one that hits you, wouldn't you want to have done something? It doesn't have to be anything meaningful, or dramatic. Life is meant to be lived. Learn what you can and pass that shit on. Each time a new generation is born, the last has an obligation to allow them to evolve and advance. Go ahead and tell me I'm wrong. It doesn't matter if in the end our society doesn't mean a damn thing in the world. This is now, deal with it.

In all, the world isn't going stop to make sure we're alright. But if you're the one watching the next fucked up thing happening on the tube with your mouth wide open, turn that shit off and go outside. Get out there. Because what is this? It's big. It isn't you, or me, or whatever is in between. It's life. That's what this is.


Monday, March 7, 2011

New Chapter

Ratatat plays in the background, and the day has just slipped through my fingers. Walking until the muscles in my calves are giving out, walking until the sun comes out, walking until my sweat glands run out.

But right now, I'm sitting down more calm than I would expect myself to be. Monday, being tomorrow, is haunting me. It's hanging over my head telling me that it doesn't care what I do with my time. It doesn't care where I go today. Because where it is, it's going to stay. And that's tomorrow.

Midterm the day after next. And I've studied less than I need to. The library haunts me to. Reminding me of all the books I should have read, need to read, and will read when time tells.

Sitting here in a room lit by a cloudy day and Christmas lights. I feel like the direction I'm going in is a direction I've always wanted to be in. But I'm still unsure. Like when things are too good to be true.

She's around. With a steady, constant glow around her. She's her own silhouette. I've made mistakes; horrible and ridiculous ones. But she let me back into her world, and I'm never going to let myself get back to a place of such disparity, confusion, and lack of integrity. That is a place I don't belong. Never again. With hands more gentle than the smallest child, she holds pieces of me I didn't even know existed. This time around, I don't mind.

My conclusion is this: When life feels too good to be true, embrace it. Because we only have right now once, and then it's gone forever. So why wait for God (Or whatever is out there) to pull the lever? Life, or at least MY life is going to be lived. And lived large.

To all of those people out there who feel stuck, who feel lost, and tired, I have been there. I still wake up wondering what life looks like tomorrow. But all I have is today. And so do you.

New chapter ladies and gentleman. It's a brand new chapter.
May the pages begin.